Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
