she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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