Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize