The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
