the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize