I love black thongs
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
