Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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