We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
