do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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