Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
