Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
