You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
