Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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