At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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