sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
