she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
