Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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