smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
