U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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