Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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