There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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