What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
