Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
