nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
