She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
