Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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