i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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