His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
