Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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