I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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