glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
