its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
