Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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