rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
