do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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