I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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