you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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