I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
