Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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