HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
