I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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