You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
