you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
