Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have aggressive nipples.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
