Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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