Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
