I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
