Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
