i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
