we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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