we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Girls should come with a carfax report
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
