we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
