If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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