I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
