Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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