So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The best revenge is premature balding
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
