Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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