covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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