The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
