office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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