escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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