Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
